2012: A Year of Fulfillment

Yes, it really, really, really was.

This was the year, God said: Go! Start! Make a move! And within months, Alabaster Mobile Clinic was a living, breathing, entity. On February 6th 2012, it was formally recognized in the state of California. 7 years after I had heard God's whisper, 6 years after I had carved its name on a small bark of tree.

And then it was as if, I didn't choose it, but it chose me. 6 months later, a 200-person concert took place, a month after that, 1,336 patients were treated on a continent I know is my second home. I had entered God's stream and He just carried me.

And then on one seemingly random October day, my soul was united with its other half. A random twitter feed and less random Skype conversations, were all we needed. Within days, I knew...before I had ever met him in person. And now exactly 3 months later, I know who I will be waking up to every morning till the day I die.

Fulfillment.

And in the midst of all of this, a 5-year journey ended with a burly gentleman announcing in front of thousands of people, "Shannon Fernando, MSN-FNP." A journey that initially began with so much confusion, 13 rejection letters, wrought with needle sticks, long night shifts, union disputes, sprained wrists from combative patients, and also the realization of my calling not only as a healthcare provider, but as a teacher.

This was also the year, God delivered me from shame. Restored precious friendships. And taught me the importance of worship. Showed me that in my weakness, He is my strength. That His grace is sufficient, whether in the jungles of Kenya, or when leading worship on Sunday mornings in Pasadena, CA.

All in ONE YEAR.

He said this would be the year of fulfillment and it truly was. Every promise God ever spoke over me, whether months ago, or years ago, came to fruition THIS YEAR.

After 7 years of singleness, through all the doubts, uncertainties, mistakes, I don't enter 2013 alone. But united with an amazing man, whose name I will take in 11 months.

I enter 2013 with so much expectation. Knowing that God's people in Africa await. I enter 2013 with a new job title. So much unknown, and yet, so much peace.

We serve a God so lavishly loving, we can't fathom it. I don't fully understand a God who would keep His covenant with such a failing, fickle being like me. And yet He does. He remained and remains true to His word.

He said, open wide your mouth and I will fill it. My cup overflows.

So it is only fitting that on my last day of 2012, I spend it in calm, silent reflection. In peace. In humble gratitude before my Savior. Because, all I have and all I feel as this year closes is:

Awe.

6 billion - 1

6 billion people on this planet. So many random choices, interactions, situations, and I could have ended up else where.

But out of 6 billion people, God chose one.

One.

See in my unbelief, I started to think that maybe God didn't have just one person for me. That perhaps it was all just chance or right place, right time stuff. My fairytale belief in soul mates started to falter.

But on December 8, 2012, every expectation, every preconceived notion about love, every doubt was shattered. Obliterated. See the pain of every no and locked door is completely overshadowed when you stand before the door so easily and widely open. 

I stood at the airport that night, so nervous I could hear my heart beating in my ears.

But then when my one appeared at the top of the escalators that night, I knew. It wasn't a flood of emotions, a tangible feeling, or even a physical reaction. It was just knowing. Peace.

There is something so mind-blowingly simple about God. God, in His God-ness, actually makes this very controversial and sometimes painful area of our lives, very simple. It is we who make it complicated.

See, when God in His God-ness chooses one from 6 billion, all complexities actually fade away. You don't have to psychoanalyze it. You don't have to over-rationalize it. You don't have to ask people's opinions about it. And you don't have to explain it...at all. It's as if God absorbs all those complexities and you are left with just a simple knowing. Peace.

It just is.

I knew before I ever met you, before I ever touched you, that you were the one I would vow for eternity to spend my life with.

You are perfectly imperfect for me. My other half.

You are the missing puzzle piece to the canvas of my experience. The piece that will now turn the trajectory of my life to places I never knew possible. The next chapter in my book of life. You are the answer to that prayer she prayed 30 years ago, the fulfillment of a longing he had 33 years ago.

You are everything I thought I didn't want and most definitely everything I need. Everything.

God made it so very simple, you see. In His God-ness, he brought together two of the most random people from across the universe, only to show us His not-so-random ways, His loving, magnificent, gracious love for us. To show that He can make possible the impossible. That He can redeem what the world says cannot be redeemed.

Our story is not the norm. For many it may be difficult to understand.

But I can't shake the truth. My simple knowing. The peace I have that transcends all understanding.

I choose you. For better or worse. I choose you.

12.7.13

Restoration

Today was a culmination of something. It was a beginning, although it was also an end.

The end of my Master's program and the beginning of this next incredible season of my life.

I believe today marks a new season for me, a season of restoration, which I believe will be the theme of 2013.

A Year of Restoration.

See what most don't know is what was lost in order to reach this day. What God had to lovingly, but sometimes forcibly remove. What had to be sacrificed by many.

6 years ago I received by 13th and final medical school rejection letter. It was one of the darkest times of my life. Lost, confused, rejected.

But today, all that seemed to have been lost that day, in that season, was restored. Not just restored, but overwhelmingly restored.

Yes, my dreams of being a medical doctor were lost. But, my calling to be a healer was restored and fully brought to fruition, on this day, where my final instructor said: "I would be happy to have you as my colleague. Welcome fellow nurse practitioner."

See the truth is, when we believe in an everlasting, almighty, loving and faithful God, nothing is ever really lost. All circumstances work unto our good and ultimately for His incredible glory.

I wouldn't have had it any other way. This incredible YES obliterates every no I have faced leading up to it.

The Book of Joel, chapter 2, vs 25-27 state:

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
    the great locust and the young locust,
    the other locusts and the locust swarm—
my great army that I sent among you.
²⁶ You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
    and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
    who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.
²⁷ Then you will know that I am in Israel,
    that I am the Lord your God,
    and that there is no other;
never again will my people be shamed."

I praise God for His uncanny ability to restore what was lost not only to its fullness, but beyond its measure. 

I can truly say today I have plenty to eat, I am full, and God has indeed worked wonders. And most importantly I know that in all of this:

There is none, absolutely none like our God.